Category Archives: Sparkle Pants writes letters

My bff shiraz

Twelve found an unopened bottle of two buck Chuck in the cupboard, so I have had some wine and I feel SO NICE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I mean, my fingers are tingly and everything. Don’t judge, I HAD A BAD DAY.

And now my friend is all I WILL PAY FOR YOUR TRIP TO PORTLAND IF YOU COME SEE HOWIE DAY WITH ME and I can’t go because I’m waiting to hear about some jobs and I need to be available immediately.

Dear Howie,

If you’re reading this, pretty please announce some shows in northern California so I can see you again. It has been almost a year and that is not acceptable.

Love,
Sparkle Pants

P.S.
you have no idea how hard it is to type this post and put all the letters in the right plaaaace

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Dear Creepy Guy,

Dear Creepy Guy,

In case you have somehow found this blog, yeah, I’m talking about you. For the love of all that is holy in this world, stop calling me. I mean, the first two times, sure whatever. I was watching a movie and didn’t answer (though really, twice in half an hour?). But I draw the line at you calling me at midnight. If you want to communicate with me, answer my email and stop scaring the living shit out of me.

Sincerely,
Me

Buh!

Dear Stomach,

Whore! What the hell is wrong with you?

Love,
Me