Category Archives: Search term madness

Internet, we need to have a talk

Can someone explain to me for the love of all that is holy and scared in this world why on earth I have 3,200 search hits for funny puppies? And why, if I add up all puppy and dog-related hits to this site, that number jumps to almost 10,000, which is a third of my total hits? I posted ONE CUTE PICTURE and now I’m like, the go-to blog for puppies.

Other interesting things I noticed while checking my stats: goddamn you people like to search for Chris Kirkpatrick and DMB lyrics. I mean, seriously.

And since there are so many people stopping by on a regular basis, why not stop and say hello?

Advertisements

ATTENTION RANDOM SURFERS-BY

If you Googled this: how do i start a eating disorder or how to start a eating disorder, please please please email me.

A blogger’s paradise

I have had a really, really horrible day for a lot of reasons but this? This just made my day. I had two comments awaiting moderation when I logged in and even though they’re from the same person, they’re too good to share.

In response to this post, Lilly (i_want_sex_badly@live.com) [it saddens me when they use fake email addresses], who appears to be coming to us live from Down Under, wanted me to know that “u suck” and also that “this website sucks. i need answers for a skool project and this doent help. fix it”.

Sometimes when I make posts, I forget that the future of the planet is frantically Google-searching the content for their research papers that are due in the morning (even though they’ve known about them for two months), and I blog about things that aren’t helpful. For that, I heartily apologize. How foolish of me to think that you’d actually use a legitimate source for information. What was I thinking?

ETA: This is what Lilly Hogan searched for to find my site: if your fat your dumb. I have one thing to say to you. BABY FLAVORED DONUTS.

Bed head

I woke up with the best bed head this morning. I went into the bathroom, put in my contacts, and took my first clear view of myself. Wow!  Tremendous bed head! So I dreamed up a tremendous bed head scenario and merrily went about my day.

Which brings us to the Sparkle Pantsosphere. You know, last night I was all “OMG I POSTED ABOUT THIS AT MY BLOG!” on another blog and this morning when I checked my stats, I wanted to retract it all because hey, all of a sudden people were coming to my blog. I’m fine being a stupid, shallow, boring blogger around my friends and total strangers who stumble in looking for variations on “do it all night lyrics” and “sparkly html” but when a bunch of people in a community I have mad respect for come over for a visit? Well, it’s kind of like that time I gave my friend a ride and he spent the entire time making fun of my dirty car and my Nsync CD.

So, tremendous bed head vs. crippling fear of humiliation. It’s a cage fight and only one will walk away.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

I have a lot of a pretty, pretty boys that I call friends

A. Last night I dreamed about The Honey Dewdrops and Mattie & Pat. Go me!
2. You crazy (and insanely cool) people searching for Chris Kirkpatrick won’t find him here.
Third. JUST KIDDING I AM CHRIS KIRKPATRICK!
Cuatro. J/k again!
der f├╝nfte. Or am I?

Hey, you crazy Swisses!

Why did you Google “smell my dirty pants” and come to my blog, huh? You crazy Swisses!

Can I just say?

I love that I’ve had three people come here by doing a Google search for the Jello commercial. You people rock. \m/