Category Archives: Lists

An experiment, please ignore

Breaking Dawn.
Spoilers.
RPattz.
Twilight.
Stephenie Meyer.
ontd_twatlight.

That is all. Please carry about your normal tasks.

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Mid-life crisis at 30

First: Directv screwed up and shipped my empty box for the receiver to my OLD address, at which I no longer live, despite the young man I spoke two confirming with me SEVERAL TIMES that my work address should be used. The email I received from Directv with my shipping information said to call FedEx if there was a problem with the address, which I did. The woman told me to call Directv. I told her NO (politely), the email says to contact YOU. So she changed the address and informed me that I needed to call Directv to confirm the change. Chagrin. I did that and the young man I spoke with informed me that it was too late, they’d have to ship me ANOTHER box. “Let me transfer you.” And thus began the longest and most painful phone call of my life. Their computers weren’t working and the poor girl seemed pretty new to the job. So I waited and waited. Waited. Waited some more. Apparently I’ll be receiving this box in a few days. I highly doubt it though.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I’ve decided to switch careers. I am loathe to consider what I do a career but it is, I think, and I am really sick of it. To the point where it is taking all my will power to not give my notice RIGHT NOW. The question now is what will I do? I’m not really sure. I’m not sure what I want to do. I want to stay away from offices as much as possible. I know that by and large, that’s going to be a bit tough. But so long as I’m not stuck at a desk all day long being treated like a lowly servant girl, I think I’ll be all right. So at the moment, I’m kind of poking around in my head, seeing what I’d like to do and what I can do where I live. It’s kind of a scary thing but also pretty neat.

Thirdly, and DEFINITELY MORE IMPORTANTLY, the Half-Blood Prince trailer is released on AOL tonight at 9PM EASTERN TIME. Be there or be square. Unless you hate Harry Potter, in which case you can DIAF. I’m hoping for at least a small glimpse of Lupin and Tonks (notice how I am saying Lupin and Tonks and not Lupin/Tonks because we all know WB sucks just enough to chagrin all the R/T shippers in the world). After reading that blurb about how Sirius isn’t going to be in ANY OF THE MOVIES (yeah, yeah I KNOW. Wave goodbye to the most heart-wrenching part of the entire series. DIAF MOVIE MAKERS.), I’m really worried.

Except for right now, WHEN I AM EXCITED FOR THE FAILER AND THE MOVIE.

Friday is my favorite day

1. Val Kilmer is 59? Seriously? IDK. I don’t like him.

2. This is hilarious shit.

3. This morning on the way to work, Spunk Ransom hated me and proved it by playing a lot of depressing music.

4. The crazy guy drove the bus this morning and crazy guy cannot drive. I fear for my life when I’m on the bus with him.

5. I went to bed at 1am and still couldn’t get up this morning.

6. If anyone is interested, there will be a new teaser (? might be an actual one?) trailer for Half Blood Prince on Tuesday.

7. I have watched 4 episodes of The Office now. It is already owning my life.

8. I’m only halfway through the first season of House.

9. I really need to start watching Doctah Who.

10. Time for your Friday random.

1. Spend It With You – The O.C. Supertones
2. Come Down – Bush
3. Pictures of Me – Elliott Smith
4. My Favorite Girl – New Kids on the Block
5. Three Small Words – Josie and the Pussycats
6. The Last Sunset – Glen Phillips
7. When Susannah Cries- Espen Lind
8. To Love Somebody – Ray LaMontagne and Damien Rice
9. One Love – Bob Marley
10. Sweet Surrender – Sarah McLachlin

11. Comic Con was insane yesterday and I’m even more convinced that a) KStew and RPattz are screwing, and b) RPattz is a hobo.

Fade to black

So either Becca closed comments on her recent post or I’m just too stupid to figure out how to work her blog (AS IF!), but I wanted to answer these questions.

– What do you want to know about the future?
– What does your last text message say?
– Are you a good driver?
– What scars do you have?
– What’s the first nickname you got?

What do you want to know about the future?
Nothing, really. Knowing the future is really only possible if you mess with the space time whatever and also, it would be awful to visit a place and time where either I or my loved ones cease to exist. So I’m fine with the present, thank you.

What does your last text message say?
I love you more.

Are you a good driver?
I like to think that I am but good driving is in the eye of the beholder. Not to offend anyone reading this blog but dude, North Carolina drivers? Scary. Very scary.

What scars do you have?
Chicken pox, some acne scars (sigh), and a scar from surgery I had on my neck when I was wee. Then I have about 80 billion emotional scars.

What’s the first nickname you got?
I think it was probably RBear. Because my parents are just that way.

The long, long week

This has been my day so far:

05:36: Wake up to NPR blaring next to my head. Unsure whether or not alarm has been going off for nearly 40 minutes or if I have been unconsciously hitting snooze.

05:38: Brush teeth. Jump around bathroom in effort to keep eyes open.

05:39: Contacts in.

05:45: Get in shower after about six minutes of staring blankly at the floor.

06:07: Wake up Roommate. Make peanut butter toaste and Mate. Wish I had the stomach for food.

06:10-07:00: Run around apartment like mad woman.

07:00-07:32: Ride around on a cozy warm bus with a bunch of people.

07:33: Curse self for not spending more time looking for gloves and for forgetting the hat.

07:33-07:55: Use bone-cutting chill to ward off impending exhaustion. Daydream about coffee. Wish the stupid express bus would hurry the eff up already.

07:55-08:55: Freeze ass off on express bus. Listen to Dave Matthews Band while sitting next to insanely attractive Dave Matthews look-alike, who happened to fall asleep on the ride and slump against me, ever so gently.

08:56: Stupid missing gloves. Stupid forgetting hat. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

08:57: OMFG WIND IS COLD. Greet Boss, who is walking behind me. Both share in moment of teeth-chattering, blustery shivering once inside.

08:58-current: Stare at monitor.

**

Does anyone remember having freeze-outs on the bus on the way to school? I mean, was that just a rural Oklahoma redneck thing? On mornings like this (or colder), there would always be a plea for a freeze-out. Sometimes we would ask for permission and other times, we would just yell FREEZE-OUT!!!!!! and drop all the windows until the bus driver started swearing at us. How I ever instigated that madness is beyond me. I mean, hello! It’s cold.

Let me tell you a little about my work space. Everything is under construction here, so I’m in what is supposed to be a staff lounge. I call it my bat cave or the dungeon, depending on my mood. I sit under a pretty impressive skylight that allows me a stunning view of the building rising up over my head, the blue blue sky, and the top of a tree. It’s lovely until right now, when it’s mothereffing cold outside and the brick wall I sit beside (yes, a brick wall – a very cold brick wall) is radiating COLD. And yes, before you say anything, cold CAN radiate.

I am in desperate need for a blanket. Oh, a blanket and a bed. Mmmmm…sleep.

You got questions, I got answers

Ku nkiko asked a lot of questions that I will now answer in front of everyone.

Why are you so hott?
Good genes. And sparkle pants.

You didn’t see Little Miss Sunshine? Did you see Talladega Nights? Is it an
accurate representation of North Carolinians? (That was asked by my
Legislative Politics prof today) I answered “I’m not from here, so I
laughed my ass off. I thought it was hilarious.”

I DID see it. Last weekend. You were there, remember? Yes, I did see it and yes, it is.

If you could date one former president, who would it be. Not counting
Gerald Ford because we all know how hott he is.

What the hell kind of question is this? I don’t want to date any of the former presidents. I guess if I had to choose…Hillary.

I know you say you don’t have a comfort book, but if you were held at
gunpoint and forced to answer, what book would you say has made you feel
the most comforted while reading?

Any of the Anne books, I’ve decided. Especially after last night.

**

Many, many weeks ago, Michelle responded to my writing challenge and I fully intend on working on it! This weekend, perhaps.

Send in your questions! Send in your writing challenges!

Don’t bother me, Laura. I’m speechifyin’

Squinty McGee just finished his economic report card speech that was full of fabulous, let me tell you. In the fifteen minutes I actually heard/watched (shudder), there were at least three instances of him starting down one trail of thought and then completely thrashing metaphors and the English language. It was also full of that snide, lecturing rhetoric that made me feel like a petulant child. What I heard went this way:

1. LINE ITEM VETO OMGWTFHAMBURGERS!!@$!#$#$!@$!~~~~ PASS THIS PLZ OMG!#!#!#$
2. Medicare/medicaid broken! Must fix for future generations! (cut to shot of Squinty’s posse guffawing)
3. What’s His Name is WONDERFUL for giving up his private life to come do GOOD THINGS FOR OUR COUNTRY!!!
4. AMERICAN HOMELAND!!$!#$#$!!@
5. Deficit is only $296 billion and NOT $423 billion!!!!! How awesome am I???????
6. WE WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN PROTECTING OUR COUNTRY AND PROMOTING FREEDOM THROUGH LIBERTY (wha????)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7. I ran for office to take care of the BIG PROBLEMS!#@$#$#$!#$!WOOTY!
8. Tax relief is making my presidency AWESOME
9. Pardon me while I snipe about “rhetoric” about budget cuts and tax breaks
10. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!#$!#@$@#@#%@#%!!!!MONEYISCOOL!@$!@$!@#$

Yeah. He’s a smarty.

Things to do when suffering from insomnia

– Boil eggs for consumption throughout the week
– Pluck stray facial hair
– Watch Shallow Hal
– Rearrange your bedding three or four times
– Do a Google search for yoga positions to help with neck and shoulder pain
– Pace
– Change clothes a few times
– Watch a show about Hitler
Eat Not eat
– Drink lots of water
– Pace some more
– Check progress of aforementioned eggs, especially the one with its hiney up in the air (and according to Google, still edible!)
– Talk to fish
– Yawn
– Read one page of a book
– Pace some more
– Update blog

The white people are melting

Y’all, it’s hot. And I’m in a very bad mood. Probably because it’s hot and humid and today is the DMB show, which I will not be attending. Bad. Mood.

1. You are in the Witness Protection Program and must invent a new first, last, and middle name. What’s your new name?
Emerson Lydia Manz

2. You are in a threesome with two famous people, alive or dead, who would they be?
Dave Matthews and David Gray.

3. You are in charge of naming your new band. What’s the name of the band? What’s the name of their first album?
Band: Rabid Puppy
Album: Innoculation

4. You are going to get a free tattoo. What and where is it?
“How can I turn away?” circling my right wrist.

5. You are being forced to listen to one song over and over, ad infinitum, as a form of torture. What song is it?
If they were clever, they’d just play Mariah Carey’s entire body of work repeatedly. That’d do it.

6. You are leaving your state/province. What state do you move to?
California. For the love of all that is scared in this world CALIFORNIA.

7. You are leaving your country; where would you move to?
Canadia. England. Germany. Italy. POLAND (I didn’t forget). Somewhere in Africa if I have a death wish.

8. You get to choose one book as the best ever written. What book do you choose?
Dante’s Inferno.

9. You get to choose one movie as the best ever made. What movie do you choose?
Um, hello. Anchorman.

10. You get to spend one day each as a bird, an insect, and a mammal. What bird would you be? What insect? What mammal?
Bird: Duck. Insect: Rolly polly. Those count, right? Mammal: Elephant. Or a puppy.

What happened to 11?!
Sorry. I was hungry.

12. You must relive one year of your life. Which would you least like to relive? Which would you most like to relive?
Least: 2003. Nooo thank you.
Most: 2005.

13. You have a time machine that will take you backwards anywhere from 1800 to the present. What decade do you most want to visit?
1940s.

14. You must choose to go skydiving or very-deep-sea diving.
Y’all are mean. I can’t do either. But in a pinch, I’d rather be under water than falling through the air.

15. You get to return to the past (using that handy dandy time machine we were talking about before) and have a sexual encounter with a rock star who is no longer alive. Who do you pick?
Jim Morrison. Heh.

16. You get to be a contestant on any game show, airing today or in the past. What show do you want to be on?
Jeopardy, please.

17. You are given $1 million dollars but you must give it all to one charity. What charity do you choose?
I’m going to assume that charity is interchangable with organization, in which case, my money is going to Save Darfur.

18. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban?
I’m going to be completely tree-huggy here. Hate.

19. You can have 100 million dollars tax-free but, if you take it, you’ll die at the age of fifty. Do you take it?
No.

And:

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your Live Journal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

1. The Infanta – The Decemberists
2. Delicate – Damien Rice
3. Steady As She Goes – The Raconteurs
4. Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira feat. Wyclef
5. The entire Life In Slow Motion album by David Gray
6. High Speed – Coldplay
7. The Bachelor and the Bride – The Decemberists

Have at it, y’all.

Tagged by daddy’s little girl

Five Things I Just Don’t Get:

1. People who insist on jogging when it’s 120 degrees outside.
2. Quantum physics.
3. Huge giant churchy weddings with 500 guests.
4. Math.
5. The “hot guys” those girly magazines feature each month for us to rate. Is it just me or are they really, really unattractive?

Five Things, Other Than Money, I Wish I Had More Of:

1. Time to write.
2. Vacation days.
3. Courage.
4. Understanding.
5. Foresight.

Five Least Favorite Words or Phrases:

1. OMG I LOVE COLLIDE!!@#$@!#$@#@##!!@$WTF
2. Anything that the under 18 crowd views as cool slang.
3. President Bush.
4. Irregardless.
5. Don’t take it personal.

Five Famous People I’ve Spoken With In Person:

1. Ed Roland (Collective Soul)
2. Kevin Martin (Candlebox)
3. Brandon Tyler (omgwtf!)
4. Scott Stapp (DOUCHE)
5. Chris Sullivan (Wakeland)

Five Things I Do Nearly Daily That I Don’t Enjoy:

1. Work.
2. Pretend to be interested in pointless conversation.
3. Get dressed.
4. Not write.
5. Eat.

Five Things I Wish I Had The Chance To Do More Often:

1. Travel.
2. See Howie.
3. See DMB.
4. See my family and friends back home.
5. Be alone.

Five Favorite Movie, Television or Literary Quotes:

1. “LOUD NOISES!” – Anchorman
2. “I saw his thingy.” “Oh no. Not his thingy.” – 13 Going On 30
3. “What are you, nuts? Are you just some… nutty-nut girl who’s nuts?” – Sports Night
4. “This is supposed to be about you not about me.” “It’s been about you a little bit.” – Down to You (and really, how much do I want to attack FPJ when he says that? Gah. Stupid Jack lookalike.)
5. “Babies come with hats.” – West Wing

Five Things I Have Actually Done That Sound Like Lies: (none of mine sound like lies though because my life is boring)

1. Been utterly and completely drooled on during sex. Of course, I didn’t do the drooling, but I think it still counts.
2. Had a man in his mid-forties grab my hand and put it on his crotch during a football game. And hey! He was really happy about that game.
3. I wrote a twenty-page final the day before it was due by just summerizing my notes and got a B in the class.
4. I moved to California because of someone I met online.
5. Been monogamous(?) for a year and a half to someone I don’t know.

Five people I pass the baton to:

1. Alicia
2. Kat
3. Gretchen
4. Dustin
5. Tim

Of course, if you don’t have blogs, just post your responses in the comments.