Category Archives: Adventures with Sparkle Pants

From the annals of my photo library

I haven’t been sleeping well, so I don’t have a lot of energy right now to make a post. HOWEVER. Tonight I went swimming and watched a baseball game (on tv) and thought about cute boys and how much I like cute boys…with pretty eyes…

BUT I DIGRESS.

Here are some things I found on my phone. I have another one to take at some point, of something HILARIOUS I saw this morning but I’m too lazy to go take a picture of it. DEAL WITH IT.

This is my phone wallpaper. I MISS YOU BUSTER.

My fortune from P.F. Changs

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What you have to look forward to!

Hey kids reading this! Guess what? You have something awesome to look forward to in adulthood! WATCHING BASEBALL AND DRINKING MARGARITAS.

I bought three books this afternoon on my lunch break because all of my books are far away with my parents. And also because the used bookstore is seriously across the street from my office HOW CAN I NOT? (Which is exactly what I told the man who owns it/was working for it) I got two books I had never heard of (I’d tell you what they are but they’re in the other room and it’s SO FAR AWAY) and one book I had: The Laughing Place by Pam Durban. I first read that book in 2003 or 2004, after a dear friend of mine passed away. The book made a lot of sense to me and helped me kind of deal with the confusion and sadness I felt. So I bought it. MINE ALL MINE NOW.

Unrelated to THAT but related to my first paragraph, I’m supposed to watch clips of Buster Posey’s injury from the other night AND I AM SCURRED TO DO IT, INTERNETS. Because my BFF tells me that he writhes in pain and crawls around on his arms and I am kind of scared to see it because it just sounds awful.

NEWSFLASH: Wilson is warming up in the bullpen. YAY.

What not to do, or something

Yesterday, we did some shopping and whatnot to continue getting our apartment in order. It included a trip to Comcast, where I had to pay an arm and a leg to get a DVR because there hadn’t been one available when the guy came in to install everything earlier in the week. UGH. So when we got home, the stupid thing didn’t work and I was ready to bust some heads. I called Comcast and I had kind of maybe imbibed a little too much beforehand and the things the woman kept telling me just went in one ear and out the other. Fortunately, we escaped the call unscathed and now our DVR works. Woo!

Today we went to the pool and hung out in the spa and it was like sitting in a big glass of champagne. So many bubbles! The tickles! Right now we’re watching a thing about the Civil War. I love the History Channel.

How has your holiday weekend been, internets?

Sleepy with a side of heartburn

FRIDAY. THREE DAY WEEKEND. I AM ALREADY ANTICIPATING 5:30PM.

We didn’t do much tonight. We took last night and tonight off from move-related matters because we were getting grumpy and frazzled and we both just needed some down time from all the chaos. Things are a little better except now I have some raging heartburn. Blech.

Tonight we watched a documentary that I had seen part of before and that BFF had seen all of – Super High Me. I love it, mostly because pot jokes by people who smoke pot are hilarious. But I got angry at the end when they showed the DEA raiding the dispensaries. I always get angry when people try to stand in the way of help for the people who need it most. The healthcare system in this country is fucking atrocious and I defy you to find an example of how it is awesome for someone with little to no income and chronic illnesses or pre-existing conditions. GIVE ME CONCRETE EVIDENCE OF HOW OUR HEALTHCARE SYSTEM GIVES A FUCK AND MAYBE I’LL CHANGE MY TUNE.

MAYBE.

So when I watch the DEA taking away the medication that a lot of people rely on to function pain free or anxiety free or nausea free or WHATEVER FREE, I get really angry. Why not just go down to the local Rite Aid and close down that pharmacy too? Because the shit they’re pushing is way more harmful than the stuff being sold at dispensaries.

And lo, there was internet

So I’m sitting in the living room of my awesome apartment watching our awesome television and using our awesome internet to update my blog. Everything feels okay. In fact, everything feels GOOD. Things have started to turn around. The BFF got approved for disability. She has an income. She’s out of a house that was making her have breaks every other day. She’s happy. We’re nesting, decorating on our limited budget. We do laundry with our washer and dryer, which came with the apartment. Our kitchen? Is gorgeous, with plenty of storage. We don’t get much direct sunlight, so it stays nice in here. This complex has three swimming pools and two spas. We like it here.

I spent most of today watching the clock, counting the minutes until I could come home and INTERNET. I really wanted to update my blog. But now I’m here and….I don’t have anything to say. I want to make this more frequent. I really wish I could tell you about all the things that happen at work but that stuff belongs in the vault. But believe me when I tell you we spend a lot of time talking about NSFW things. What can I say? There are five of us and we get along REALLY WELL. (I love my job.)

Also? I have to write blog posts for my job. It is WAY TOO STRESSFUL.

If you have any questions, dear internet, please leave them in the comments! I’ll answer them. Or if you have ideas for things I could say, that’d be awesome too.

The new year

I was tucked up in my bed with reruns of The Office playing me to sleep. I was tired. I was dozing off. And then I remembered something that happened at work this morning. Something small and meaningless.

It sent me down an angry, panicky path and now I’m shaking and upset and I can’t sleep, so I’m updating this blog and listening to Transatlanticism. I feel like I’m going to throw up my dinner. My head hurts. I’m hot and cold. I just want….I don’t know what I want.

What’s wrong with you? Just tell me. You never talk to me. It hurts when you don’t talk to me.

But I don’t know what’s wrong. And I don’t know how to explain what’s in my head and I don’t even know if it’s something that’s wrong or it’s something that’s right and I’m just confused about it.

I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.

So this is the new year.

Forever is tomorrow is today

This afternoon, I spent half an hour in a small room at a doctor’s office with my best friend, listening while an understanding but purposeful doctor drilled her about her mental health. It’s all part of the disability application process. A hard part. A part that leaves people feeling judged and hopeless, because really how much can a complete stranger tell about your disability in such a short amount of time? There’s no easy way to capture what life is like for us; I’ve tried dozens and dozens of times and can never find the right words. Everything seems so simplified and black and white when in reality, it’s a chaotic rollercoaster that we can’t ever exit.

She’s exhausted. When we left the doctor’s office, she was gray. Sweating and gray and shaking like a leaf. When her anxiety, panic, and agoraphobia get really bad, she becomes vacant. A shell. I don’t like it. When other people cause her to shift into that place, I get angry. I don’t like to see my best friend suffer.

I’m not really sure what the point of this is…just a small glimpse into another day in the life. I’m so tired of these days, full of doctors who don’t listen or don’t care or demand evidence that you are as sick as you say even though you’re a shaky, absent, incoherent wreck on the exam table.

I’m tired. Down to the bone tired. And if it’s this hard for me, if it’s this hard for me to draw up the memories of certain days or months or periods of time, then how hard is it for her, the person who has lived them firsthand?

Of angels and angles

So last night, I bought myself a present. That present was Foundling by David Gray. Because seriously that album has been out for 800 years and I hadn’t heard it yet. WHAT IS MY LIFE? Well, it is awesome right now because of this CD.

I know I’m DG’s biggest fangirl and I really won’t ever shut up about him once I start and I swoon over him daily and everyone just wants me to shut the fuck up about him already…WHATEVER, DON’T JUDGE ME. I haven’t even gotten to listen to the bonus disc yet. THAT IS HOW FUCKING AMAZING THE FIRST DISC IS. I am bowled over CONSTANTLY that this man can create such beautiful things at such high, quality volumes. Like, a lot of Foundling is cast-offs from Draw the Line, an album which is ASTOUNDING IN ITS OWN RIGHT. Right now, my favorite song is, not surprisingly, “Holding On”. That song is fuuuuuucking brilliant.

I have dropped the eff bomb enough in this post, so I’ll go ahead and shut up now.

Except to say that the next two days are BIG DAYS for me, work-wise, and I am FLIPPING MY SHIT ABOUT IT. Like, I fully intended to spend tonight prepping and instead I sat around being lazy. SHIT FUCK GODDAMN.

All I can do is keep breathing

At first it was good. Better than good. It was mind-numbingly euphoric. Tingles in my fingertips. A heady excitement that consumed me from top to bottom.

And now it is a wallowing valley of mire and shadeless shadows.

Look at all the fucks I give!

WOW WHAT A WEEK FOR DOUCHEBAGS.

Okay, so first things first, work is pretty awesome and I enjoy being employed LIKE A BOSS. My coworkers are nice and fun to work with and we get shit done while still being awesome. I am terrified of the day when I am shoved into the swimming pool and forced to sink or swim, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Other than that though, holy balls. People were supremely douchey this week. First there is Little Girl, who I have written off as a person I ever want to have anything to do with again. I can take or leave Little Girl, but she is kind of involved in The BFF’s life, so while I can be flip and give zero fucks about her, I still need to be supportive of The BFF. And then there is this other person, who I will not mention by name or otherwise right now, but ugh. If you read my blog, just…ugh. Go away. I don’t want your traffic here.

Now. I NEED TO GET MY ASS IN BED. Well. It’s already IN bed but it needs to get to sleep. Also: can we take a moment to observe the awesometasticness of Wisconsin, Libya, and Bahrain (not to mention all of the other countries fighting to have their voices heard)? Because damn, y’all. YOU ARE GETTING SHIT DONE.