Is this thing on?
So last week, Beth asked me/everyone a set of questions, which made me happy because it gave me something to post. Y’all, my life is kind of boring right now. Currently, I wake up and go to work, where I keep myself busy until lunch. I spend that 50 minutes (because my bus gets me to work 10 minutes late and I’m too lazy to get up earlier to catch the one that would get me there 15 minutes early) trying to pull together what little sanity I have left while making phone calls about personal things, and if I’m lucky, I get to read a page or two of a non-school book. Then it’s back to the office for the rest of the day. I take a later bus most days because suddenly all the buses are packed. Then I come home and make dinner, work on homework, and kind of numb my way through the evening until bed.
MY BORING LIFE, LET ME SHOW YOU IT.
I am currently waiting for seat assignments for the DMB shows in April and also for the weekend, just like I wait for it EVERY week because I need like 20 of them back to back so badly.
Did you watch the press conference? I did. Well, I watched most of it. My favorite part, aside from the part where he got all impassioned and community-organizery (which got me all riled up and I spend a good several minutes ranting in the RBR chatroom like whoa), was when that guy stood up and said, (paraphrased) “The American people are losing their jobs, Mr. President. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT A-ROD’S STEROID USE?”
Really? I hope you don’t let the doors of the press room hit you in the ass on your way out, buddy.
ONTO THE QUESTIONS.
1. Remember the movie Brewster’s Millions? That happens to you, except on a smaller scale. You receive a million dollars that you must spend in 30 days. However, you cannot have any assets to show for the money at the end of the month (and you can’t buy something and then destroy it), you cannot waste the money, you cannot give it away, and you cannot tell anyone what you are doing. How do you ditch the dough in a month or less?
I had to go look at someone else’s answer to figure out what the hell I could do with that much money and stay within those bounds. I think the first way would be the hp_capslock meet-up we all want to have but can’t afford. We would get all classy in Orlando and bring down the land value at the same time because we’re just that awesome. (Some of that money might have to go to bail.) I would use some of it to pay off the things that are late/in collections. None of those would give me any assets, aside from less of a hit on my credit score. Whatever remained would go to the most amazing vacation in San Francisco ever.
2. You are locked in a toy store overnight, with no way out until it reopens in the morning. What do you play with all night?
The electronic toys. Bring it on. (I would also have the Barbie dolls and BRATS dolls have a skank-off with G.I. Joe as judge.)
3. If you could have a dinner party with any three famous people, living or dead, you would be wasting your supernatural powers on hosting dinner parties. What would you do instead?
I assume I can fly, as well as raising the dead/bringing the living to my home for dinner. I would be flying around San Francisco, taking in the sites (HOMESICK MUCH?). I’d also swing by Sacramento, just for good measure.
4. What’s the best thing since sliced bread? Now, sliced bread ain’t all that impressive, so what’s the best mediocre, hum-drum improvement or advancement that has made modern life just ever so slightly more convenient for humanity, along the lines of saving yourself five seconds every time you want a piece of bread.
Bagel slicer. Clearly. Actually, this is false. I do not own one and I get by just fine. An apple corer/slicer, on the other hand, is a fucking godsend. I love those things. I don’t own one or anything. BUT I LOVE THEM.
5. What’s your best quality? The response to this question must be a simple declarative statement. You may elaborate on that statement, provided that your elaboration does not include the words “but,” “however,” or “although,” or any other hedging, equivocating, back-sliding, gerrymandering (which is not at all appropriate in this context, but I think it should be, don’t you?) or any other type of backing down from the simple declarative statement with which you began your response.
My eyes, because they change color.
If you would like to answer these questions, please link back to Beth (and me!) because it’s nice and all that.
Gunshot! And here I thought we had left the ghetto.