I just got a voicemail from a doctor’s office in Stockton, CA. The voicemail was for ME, the woman addressed me by name. I haven’t lived in California in two years. I haven’t been back in almost that much time. I never saw a doctor in Stockton. So here’s my question: what have I been doing in my sleep? Is my evil twin up to no good? Is it sad that my first thought was “Oh shit. I’m pregnant, aren’t I?”?