So last night we went to see the musical that Hodgmina is in. He warned us that it was horrible, terrible, SO BAD IT WILL BE PAINFUL TO WATCH. Painful to watch because I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD. But then again, maybe you have to have a 12-year-old boy’s sense of humor like we do. Because we laughed. We laughed a lot.
Afterward, I spent a lot of time attempting to shake that stupid third-wheel feeling. And also controlling my gag reflex because seriously, they’re just disgusting. In that good way that makes me happy and also a little bit sad and…
Wait. What were we talking about?
Oh yes. We were leading up to the point where I tell you I met Lynyrd Skynyrd last night. And Sebastian Bach. Or maybe it was just three guys who really looked the part of southern rock musicians. I can’t really be sure.
I also met a cat last night. I didn’t know the cat’s name, so I decided to call him Ted Hitler. I mean, it was 4/20 and all. Ted Hitler totally blew me off, so I stayed on the couch with BFF and our shopping bag of McDonald’s and watched an episode of 30 Rock, part of Eddie Izzard’s Glorious, and part of this week’s episode of South Park. It was an…interesting night, to say the least.
Today we’re going to look at a townhouse, the price of which is really scary so I can’t wait to see how many dead bodies/cockroaches they have lying around. But it might be a good place to score some crack or turn some tricks, so you know, it could turn out to be paradise! We have pretty much decided on another place where we can’t score some crack or turn some tricks and it is out in the middle of the woods. Woods where crazed asylum escapees with hooks for hands can come and drag us from our beds and KILL US IN THE NIGHT.
You see, I grew up in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by wheat and cows and sheep and was so spoiled by the silence of nowhereishness. Then I moved to the Big City and lost all ability to sleep without background noise ever again because what was that? Did you hear that? I heard something. No I’m not imagining things! I heard something! THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE LIVING ROOM IT WILL EAT ME IF I GO GET A GLASS OF WATER.
Then we’re going to the movies to see Adam Brody be all hot and wonderful, and after that, who knows what kind of mischief we’ll find. I hear there’s a Target up the road. You know how I get around Target.
Mothers, lock up your sons! And daughters, I say.