The incoherent thoughts of a twenty-something

I think about it. I do. I’ll admit it. I think I’m old enough to think about it and consequently blog about it. I’m 28, will be 29 in a little over three months, and I’ve had a lot of time to think about it.

One of my friends from high school emailed today to announce that she and her husband are expecting their first child. In the midst of my happiness, I felt a pang of jealousy. Everyone else is having kids or adopting kids or being grown-up and here I am, unattached and watching Justin Timberlake thrust around at the VMAs (I mean, how can I turn down a man who offers to let me whip him if he misbehaves?).

I don’t date. I find it a waste of my time and his. That’s not to say I don’t think dating is necessary or important. It is, to a degree. But really, who has the time and drive to spend an hour or two with someone you probably won’t see again when you could be at home doing laundry, paying your bills, or catching up on your Tivo.

What’s a girl to do in a world where all the good men are either gay or married? What’s a girl to do when a guy’s idea of sweet talk is to shout, “HEY BABY!” as you leave the grocery store completely weighed down with goods? Or when most guys indicate that they prefer the ideal that is becoming more and more “common” and expected?

I’d rather be single, thank you. Even though I’d rather be single, it doesn’t stop the thoughts. Lately I’ve been going through the process of serving myself reality checks of the give-up-already variety. There are just some things I know will never happen in my life. I hate saying goodbye, I hate giving up on hope and dreams and all that idealistic bullshit. It’s hard. It’s hard when the thoughts won’t go away and when I’d rather just lose myself in them. Sometimes I let myself because these days, it’s like a rare treat to get so far into the thoughts that it all seems possible again.

Then reality knocks on the door and I go back to watching Justin Timberlake. I mean, a girl has to have fantasies, right?

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Posted on September 5, 2006, in Boys are pretty, Pretty happy fun friends. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on The incoherent thoughts of a twenty-something.

  1. Man, guys suck. Or at least the ones that cause you to think this way. They give guyhood a bad name.

  2. I’m so sorry sweetie. *HUGE HUG*

    Blargh. I feel like this is also partly my fault for being a big whiny baby lately. I’m so sorry! But you know I’m right there with you.

    Love you!!

  3. Ok girly, 29 is WAY too young to be feeling like it’s too late for any of that to happen.

    When I think about Rhonda I think about a girl who has taken risks, really LIVED life for a few years. I mean think about it, you’ve lived on both sides of the country, you’ve held different jobs, experienced so many things on your own and with E. You’ve got causes that you are passionate about, dreams and goals worth striving for. All of those are things that wouldn’t be possible if you had chosen the paths of many of us who are married with kids already. When you do find Mr. Right (and he’ll have to be pretty darn “Right” to be deserving of you!) you’ll be so much more confident and sure about who you really are and what you really want because you have been able to figure that our without someone clouding your judgement or persuading your actions and thoughts.

    One life is not better than the other, they both have great advantages, you’ve just chosen the path that eventually allows you to experience the best of both worlds. :)

    I want you to be happy, no matter what it is that you finally find that happiness in.

    Lovey a girl!

  4. i swear to GOD we share a brain. and a heart. i pretty much started crying reading this. oooh, and did JT bring sexy back or WHAT?!?!? of course, so did panic! at the disco and fall out boy. hehe. oh hell, they all did. rawr. *hug* i love you.

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