What to do

I’m mad. I’m beyond mad. I’m so mad that I feel like I could resort to violence, a very uncommon characteristic in me. I just found out that someone hurt two of my friends. Someone hurt two of my friends in the most deceitful, underhanded, and heartless way. Someone deliberately sabotaged a close, long-standing friendship between two of my friends and that someone has been saved by distance and restraint. My restraint.

What I really want to do is reveal identities, short-comings, and everything unpleasant I know. What I want to do is sabotage this person’s relationships and ruin them forever. Return the favor, as it were. I mean, it seems only fair, right? This person destroys a friendship, so this person should have a friendship ruined, too. Right?

As my friends, I’d like your advice. What do you do in a situation like this? What do you do when someone has hurt people you love? What do you do when you know that nothing you say will make any difference because this person has no heart, no concern for others?

What do you do and how do you resolve these internal issues?

And just for the record, I AM VERY MAD RIGHT NOW.

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Posted on August 13, 2006, in Pretty happy fun friends, Rant. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on What to do.

  1. I don’t know. I take down my blog.

  2. I don’t know. I’m a pretty peaceful person (now) so I want to say distance. But the sort of sad reality about that is that it doesn’t really solve much because this person reaps no consequences and therefore does not understand the amount of hurt and distruction in the process. And if I were to ask the old me how she would handle a situation like this, the answer would be to take. them. down. Not in a sneaky, underhanded way. Not by revealing all of their shortcomings to the world. But pointblank and straight to the point, and cut right to the heart of who they are. Because when someone hurts me and hurts the people I love, I feel an overwhelming need to hurt exactly who they are. I mean, I’m accepting, but if you give me reason to, all I can see are all the bad things about you. And besides, making them cry and actually think about their actions is always a much better strategy in the long run. They don’t have to lose relationships because losing a part of who you are sucks worse.

    That said, whatever you do decide to do, don’t lose sight of who you are in the process. *hugs* I’m always here.

  3. I don’t know. I’m a pretty peaceful person (now) so I want to say distance. But the sort of sad reality about that is that it doesn’t really solve much because this person reaps no consequences and therefore does not understand the amount of hurt and distruction in the process. And if I were to ask the old me how she would handle a situation like this, the answer would be to take. them. down. Not in a sneaky, underhanded way. Not by revealing all of their shortcomings to the world. But pointblank and straight to the point, and cut right to the heart of who they are. Because when someone hurts me and hurts the people I love, I feel an overwhelming need to hurt exactly who they are. I mean, I’m accepting, but if you give me reason to, all I can see are all the bad things about you. And besides, making them cry and actually think about their actions is always a much better strategy in the long run. They don’t have to lose relationships because losing a part of who you are sucks worse.

    That said, whatever you do decide to do, don’t lose sight of who you are in the process. *hugs* I’m always here.

  4. I’m good at cutting people out of my life.

  5. That’s a tough one without knowing the specifics. I think you pick your battles. Sure, some people need to pay but some people will get theirs in the end no matter what you do. If retaliation makes the situation worse, skip it.

  6. wow. i have no idea. i’m sorry this is going on, whatever it is. what happened to ku’s blog???

  7. Man, what a drag. Sorry that you have to wrestle through this junk.

    I, like everybody, am hurt by others from time to time. When I realize I’ve been hurt and I am angry… I do my best to prepare my heart to forgive them, hoping that one day they apologize. Once my heart is in a place that I feel like I would graciously accept a genuine apology from them, I decide to either a) bring up the issue to them (since they may be unware of the pain they caused me), or b) allow time to pass to see if they come to me on their own.

    Either way, I’ve found that coming to a place where I am always ready to forgive the offending party is the most healthy way for me to live my life. I can honestly say that to the best of my knowlege, I live my life with as clear of an account with others as possible.

    When I recently came to the realization that I caused some serious pain in somebody else’s life (and that I needed forgiveness for these mistakes), it helped cement this philosophy in my heart and mind.

    The whole revenge thing has got to be thrown out the window, right?

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