In a desperate attempt to keep from going to the kitchen for something to eat, I’m going to make a post. Except I think the idea of posting to keep from eating is a bad idea because instead of eating, I’ll just throw something out onto the internets that is really boring and when people surfing here searching for things like “Miss Pants is totally awesome” and “how do I become a porn star?” they’ll come here and read this incredibly boring post and my street cred will be ruined.
I should take a shower but I don’t want to because that takes too much work and I would have to actually peel my butt off this couch and go do something and heaven forbid I do something like THAT. I’d rather sit here and stare at our pretty lamp, which matches our pretty curtains and throw pillows.
Okay, I keep gazing longingly at the kitchen. What should I eat? Chips and salsa? A piece of pizza? Some rice leftover from Chinese last night? A piece of cinnamon-raisin bread? My feet? This pillow? Oh, for the love of Pete.