Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad.

This rollercoaster has been going for about a week and I am ready for it to bloody stop kthnxbye. I AM SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY!!!!! I am going to spork out my eyes because I am so sad. I AM SO ABSOLUTELY BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS!!!!!EJJEWF0OGMG!!#$!#!~~~ I am going to spork out my eyes, my brain, and YOUR eyes because I am so sad. HAP! HAP! HAPPYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Weep, sob, moan.

God and I had a chat the other day and I keep going back to Him and asking Him to please remind me what I said and to also let me know that everything’s okay. He assures that me that everything is as it should be and btw, THIS is what you said, Miss Pants.

I have what I like to call ‘dark moments’. I think everyone has them. Mine teeter along the lines of everything I have ever thought is totally wrong and stupid and that really, the only thing that matters is me and all things that surround me. I think a lot about the face of good and how most of the ones doing the grunt work to get the good done end up suffering, along with those they help, at the hands of those in charge. So we go into a country (and by ‘we’, I mean the U.S., the U.N., NGOs, aid organizations, etc.) to help. At what cost? Neutrality doesn’t flourish in a warzone. The UN attempts to remain neutral during peacekeeping missions but are always accused of being sympathetic to a side or a cause, often opposing sides simultaneously, just by giving some a ride to the next town. So really, what good is all this help, this compassion, this mercy, if all that results is more greed (“leaders” routinely hoard food and supplies given them by aid organizations in an attempt to point out said organization’s favoritism of the opposing side by giving them more (the same amount)), more suffering, and more warring?

Am I completely wasting my time in even caring? Even though most Western people aren’t entering these countries for the next wave of colonialism, government officials and citizens of the country often see it that way. We don’t want you in our country. The last time you came here in great numbers, you destroyed our people. Get out. We’d rather die than accept your “charity.”

What the hell does any of this even matter?

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Posted on June 7, 2006, in Adventures with Sparkle Pants, All about Sparkle Pants, Bullet In the Brain-Pan, Sparkle Pants does Politics. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad..

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