I pulled a Jack today and left the house wearing brown and black. Unlike University Politico, I am vastly unable to pull off anything daring when it comes to fashion. Not that this is so much daring as it is a result of a lack of shoes. I don’t think my fashion blunder is as hideous as his ensemble last Thursday (my god with the pants, Jack, sweetheart…NO). I have a pair of really cute brownish pants with very, very faint off-white and plum pinstripes. This morning I didn’t want to wear a button-down and the only short-sleeved thing I had was a brown shirt from Old Navy. Hmm. Brown shirt. Brown pants. I haven’t worn these pants in months because they stopped being comfortable because I stopped being the weight I was when I bought them. But this morning I pulled them out, just for fun, and prepared myself for a huge disappointment that would start my glorious Thursday out on the wrong foot.
Imagine my shock when they actually fit. I could probably stand to lose a few more pounds in order for them to look eye-poppingly hot, but I was so pumped that I found my cute pink thong (the one with the little pink BOW omg so cute) and immediately put on my brown outfit.
There was only one problem. I don’t own brown shoes aside from my Docs, which are battered and beaten and really don’t go well with dressy pants. I debated whether or not to ditch the outfit but I was so happy that the pants fit that I decided to screw fashion right in the ear and wear my black shoes.
I look like a big piece of chocolate. And if you squint, I bet you could mistake my feet for dark chocolate. Dark chocolate is good for you. So my dear, I suggest you start at the bottom and work your way up for maximum health benefits.