Clam chowder, anyone?

Last night BFF and I got out of the house, which is something we like to do a lot because we live with people who are crazy. We got a bite to eat, then went to Linens ‘N Shit to look around. BFF pointed out a picture in the Nautica bedding section and said, “That is SO you and Jack’s bed.”

I grew up in the midwest, far, far away from anything that could be mistaken for New England snobbery, clam bakes, and yacht races. However, I seemed to be unfailingly drawn to all things (and people) New Englandy. The fact that I want to buy a house in Maine is a sure sign that I am losing my damn mind. When I saw that Jack was an Eagles fan, I just chalked it up to my typical unwitting infatuation with New Englanders.

Coincidentally, as we were going through Linens ‘N Shit, we talked about our types. It is easy to establish that BFF’s type is Musician. My downfall of involving myself with men who are less than forthright aside, I decided that my type is Professional. BFF was quick to point out Preppy Professional. Which then became Yuppie.

My type is Yuppie. Someone please give me a rum and Coke, STAT. Because I don’t know if I can handle this sober.

But with the golf and the clothes and the shoes — which brings up an interesting observation: at Payless last night, I went over to the men’s section to see if they had Howie shoes (they didn’t) and found shoes almost exactly like Jack’s $800 ones, which means perhaps he’s just making a good show for himself but really only spending $15 — and the watch and the pen and the constant cell phone yammering, all signs point toward YUPPIE. Or at least wannabe-Yuppie.

How in the hell did I get this way? I grew up in BFE, Oklahoma. I write but not poetry. I have been to that side of the country ONCE and I hardly think DC qualifies as New England AND I was only there for like, three days (remember that, AJ? Hell. On. Earth.). Why do I fancy boys with pretty hair and ties and nice shoes?

These are things I will continue to ponder for the duration of my life.

And! Happy birthday, Laurie!!.


Posted on June 22, 2005, in Adventures with Sparkle Pants, All about Sparkle Pants, Boys are pretty, Pretty happy fun friends. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Clam chowder, anyone?.

  1. Hell on earth with nothing but a fish umbrella to guide us through the chaos.

    However, the one peaceful New-Englandy memory I have of that trip was sitting on George’s back porch overlooking the Potomac. Now THAT would have been the best way to spend the entire 3 days!

  2. Dude. I had forgotten all about the fish umbrella. Insanity. Remember those 14 y/o boys who kept calling our room and telling us to turn on the porn? And CHEESEBURGER FRY! CHEESEBURGER FRY! And the woman who threw her change at that nice Chinese lady? Madness!

    Yes, that was pretty cool. George had a nifty porch.

  3. Oh my gosh I am laughing out loud here! I haven’t heard CHEESEBURGER FRY!! in so long. hahahahaha Total highlight of the trip. lol

  4. I think about that a lot, especially when I’m at the mall. So much of that trip is just a haze. Aside from those things I mentioned earlier, I remember Lidy getting busted by the Secret Service and everyone being very zombie-like on the bus when they were trying to figure out if we were going to the post office museum :D

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