Hey there little girl! STOP IT.
So last night, I could not sleep. It’s as if my body knew I was going to be at work today for eleventy million hours and decided that ha! I could do it all on sudafed, motrin, coffee, AND NO SLEEP. BFF tried to help me out last night by talking to me in a calming voice and having me imagine all these idyllic settings and wonderful things, which were very calming and I drifted into a few beautiful imaginings about wine, the Oregon coast, DMB, and a boy.
Hark! I did fall asleep. And I dreamed. Not the random, bizarre dreams of Friday night (let’s just say it involved me running around without a shirt on because these people were trying to blow me up and I couldn’t hide because I was wearing my VERY GREEN Matty Nay shirt and it also involved some pervy teen boys getting sassy with me and then me discovering that they were wearing HIGH HEELS). Breathe. Anyway, I dreamed about the X and some creepy old man was making us get married, which neither of us wanted, and we were going to be forced to make a child, a MALE CHILD, who was to be named Maine.
I am so not kidding.
Maine. And we lived in a Wal-Mart.
Sometimes I don’t understand my brain. I fell asleep thinking about Jack and ended up dreaming about my X, who is decidedly not Jack, and living in a goddamn Wal-Mart?
I will not name my son Maine!
In other news, one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone “clears my desk” for me at work. I came in and everything was in another place! My things are missing! In strange places!
STOP IT! HANDS OFF!