Answers for T.G.

1) You get the chance to save the life of any musician. Who would it be and how would they ever repay you for saving them?

Oh, wow. There are so many musicians I would love to save. If I could go back and save one who died, who would I pick? Two that stand out automatically are Eva Cassidy and Nick Drake but really, could I commit there? What about living musicians? Obviously I’d want to save Dave Matthews, Howie Day, Matt Nathanson, David Gray, Hope Sandoval…I might have to go with a generic answer as to keep from having to answer with something really real :D

Except…I would probably save the life of Dave Matthews because not only is he a good musician, but he’s a good person with a genuinely kind heart. What would he ever do to repay me? Grant me full access to the band (on a summer tour and through the process of recording) and to his LIFE as a whole so that I may write the ultimate DMB book.

2) What is the best thing you have ever done to help a friend in need?

Probably just been there for them, no matter what. Sticking by them when they’ve just wanted me to go away, listening to anything they have to say even if it doesn’t make sense and it’s four in the morning and I had to be up in a few hours for work or otherwise. Just being available, emotionally and financially, if possible.

3) If you had a million dollars (or more), what would you buy first and why?

15-inch Powerbook because I love laptops and I need a new one so badly that I could scream. It is greatly hindering my writing. Not having one, that is.

4) You’re going into exile owing to your involvement with SD-6. You can only bring five books to read the whole time. What would they be and why?

1. Dorothy Allison’s Bastard Out of Carolina. I love the writing and the story. It’s one of my favorite books and one that I can read over and over again.

2. The Bible. I may not read it as much as I should but I have a feeling I would need it. Also, if I’ve been involved with SD-6, I’ll need to get myself right :D

3. Dante’s Inferno. Another of my favorite books. Love to read it over and over again. I can then plot out where in hell I will go for being so damned naughty in SD-6.

4. Santa Mouse. One of my favorite books from my childhood. I’ll need it at Christmas, thank you.

5. Dictionary. Preferably a HUGE one. I will try to read the whole thing in my exile. And learn every word. Then when they decide to reintroduce me into society, I will only communicate using big, obscure words that no one understands.

5. Howie Day or Jack?

I had this one coming, didn’t I? :) Very tough question. On the one hand, you have Howie, who is obviously creative, which I think is very important. I am also incredibly attracted to him, which will help with the procreation and continuance of the human race. From Maine, which works for me because hark! Some of my ancestors come from Maine. He is angsty and bitter and very messed up, which I looooove. At the same time, however, the angsty-bitter-messed up bits make him a bit of a fuck-up and he would definitely have to stop with the whoring and tourbussing. I would have to work very hard to make an honest man out of him.

Then there’s Jack, who might possibly be smart (I don’t know since I haven’t seen his grades or even know what exactly he does for the lawyers — perhaps he is their bitch?) but he definitely looks good doing what he does. Which is really just walking around drinking coffee and driving and talking on his cell phone. The fact that the hems of his pants are still a tad too short endears him to me something awful and his eyes make me dizzy and his hands are beautiful, his voice is loverly and he is very kind with a friendly, perfect smile.


What’s a girl to do? Jack could be a whore just like Howie! He could snort coke off the tits of a whore just like Howie*! But then again, he could be a sweet, charming guy with good intentions who makes a decent living, someone who is responsible and would not let a woman do gross things** if he could help it.

But really, in the end, I could answer this question without any thought.

Jack. Absolutely, 100% Jack.

* There is no evidence that Howie actually does this.
** I qualify cleaning a random person’s shit off the side of a building as “gross things.”


Posted on June 2, 2005, in All about Sparkle Pants, Boys are pretty, Boys can be stupid too, Lists, Pretty happy fun friends, Show tunes!. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Answers for T.G..

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