White trash heaven.

As my shows are going into summer reruns or just not being on for the summer period, I’ve been forced to do other things with my time. Last night, I watched Britney and Kevin: Chaotic because let’s face it: I’m a glutton for punishment.

First of all, K-Fed gives me the creeps in that sleezy, I’m-gonna-molest-you kind of way. He needs a shower, a shave, and a haircut. He is a prime example of a man who cannot grow sexy facial hair. But then of course, I discovered last night that he’s from Fresno, which explains a lot. (No offense meant to any readers from the Fresno area.)

I’m not sure what disturbed me more: the fact that Britney is a complete psychopath or the fact that she filmed them making out, tongues, moans, and all. I am scarred for life. I want to shudder when I think about kissing now. It was that disgusting.

Also, I thought it was interesting that the screen said MAY ’04 and they were talking about Brad and Jen splitting up. Pardon me, but didn’t they break up this year?

Staged much?

Sadly, I will probably watch the show again because I want to watch Britney get fatter.

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Posted on May 25, 2005, in Adventures with Sparkle Pants, TV machine. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on White trash heaven..

  1. I was watching NCIS last night and found myself watching that stupid Rob and Amber Get Married…or something like that. I watched the longest intro into a reality t.v. show EVAR and suffered through having to find out their entire history in the span of that intro. Then suffered through having to watch the girl and the obviously gay party plan talk about decorations and guests and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah wedding plans. None of which was in the least bit understandable because hello! they montaged the conversation for that “cool” effect and you couldn’t understand anything they were talking about. Which is, I’m sure, what that Rob guy heard. LOL And I think that was the point. But then I suffered through Rob naming every food on a stick imaginable and what’s her name complaining about his love for this food on a stick.. or something.

    Then I realized I had a brain and could do more productive things with my life. Like watch Britney and Kevin be stupid just to cement the fact that damn Jessica doesn’t seem like such an idiot after all. Shallow and flaky yes, ditzy, of course; but stupid? Britney makes her look like a total genius. At least she had the common sense to marry Nick. LOL

    And I am in total agreement with you on the dirty nasty man thing. He’s just so… I can’t even explain it. I think Tony had a reason to be worried about this guy coming into her life. And was I the ONLY one that thought the sparkle in Miss Britney’s eyes was from being high and not on life? Cause really… Oh and I could have SO done without the “the sex is great” last 10 mintues of the show ending. Thanks. *gags* That was way more than I ever wanted to know about the two of them.

  2. Word! I completely agree. That whole sex thing just grossed me out. And when she was doing the hand-stand on the table and he was zooming in on her ass? He’s with her because she’s HER and he gets to sleep with her. I agree that Tony had every right to be worried and still SHOULD BE worried. Not like she’ll listen to anything anyone has to say. He’s going to end up leaving her just like he did the mother of his other children.

    Argh! Most digusting half-hour EVER.

  3. Word! And that whole “intamacy” moment they had ON CAMERA… so disgusting. Seriously, there are some things that you should just know better than to share with the whole world. I mean the girl is putting on her makeup. You’re going to ask her if it’s “just sex” then, ON CAMERA! I mean, really. I’d rather be subjected to episodes of Newlyweds because even if Jessica is annoying, at least Nick is fun to look at. LOL Oh, and uh, they actually make a cute couple as opposed to Chaotic. They just make a dirty, dirty couple. And it seems like the more she’s with him, the dirtier she seems.

    I totally was rooting for Tony to stay sitting on him. I woulda held Tony down myself!

  4. ME TOO. I totally wanted Tony to just sit on him until he passed out. And yeah, that kiss thing at the end where she’s MOANING and you can hear it being all saliva-y and gross? *shudder*

  5. I KNOW! Seriously, more than I wanted to know about the dirty two. That’s NOT hot. I swear, how is it Justin gets a bad rep for saying something about her when you can watch her show for what ends up being what like twenty minutes without commercials? and KNOW that she’s a dirty ho. LOL I don’t get it.

  6. Justin gets a bad rep because he’s a dirty ‘ho, too, so he shouldn’t be calling names. As far as I’m concerned he and Britney deserved each other.

  7. i am completely fascinated by the brit and k-fed show. and i can’t WAIT for the bobby brown/whitney houston show. :)

  8. Justin and Britney together at all was just WRONG. It was more like incest. It was horrible.

    And LOL Bobby and Whitney having their own show… I swear, they better keep 911 on speed dial.

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