WELL HELLO INTERNETS. HOW’S IT?

I don’t really know that I have a lot to say right now but let’s just try this out and see where it goes. I am currently listening to Lucid Dreams by Franz Ferdinand. Do yourself a favor and play this song while wearing headphones. Prepare to have your mind blown at the end. My brain always feels like it’s a big bouncy ball when I listen to the song with headphones on.

So my allergies this year have been beyond what they’ve been since I moved to this state with all its stupid reproducing trees and grasses and flowers. I’ve had to double up on allergy medication more than once and yesterday I developed a slight sore throat and today its being kept company by a headache and overall yuckness feeling. CURSES. I just want to go home, put on my pjs, and sleep. And drink tea. Hot tea. Mmm hot tea.

In the past bit since we’ve last spoken, I’ve not done anything worth mentioning except get a B in my class and see DMB twice. (I remained awesome while doing all of that.) The DMB shows were amaaazing. Okay, the Raleigh show could’ve been better. But the Charlotte show? Easily at the top of the list for favorites shows I’ve seen. And now the BFF and I are into double digits! With any luck, we’ll squeeze in at least one more show this summer. I am really hoping to scrape together enough money for the mega awesome pre-order package for Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King. $60 is a lot but the stuff you get is incredible and I really wanted a book of Dave’s drawings, okay? So bite me. Also of note: the hotel we stayed at in Charlotte was ridiculously awesome. It was a Candlewood Suites and the bed was like a little slice of bed heaven, right there in our room. Soft, luxurious sheets, comfy mattresses, and buttery pillows. DELICIOUS.

In more recent news, our DDR soft mat shorted out, we bought a betta named Carolina who died the next morning, and our Wii got fried in a storm (we weren’t home at the time). So that’s fun. There’s a new, better DDR mat in a big box at home but we don’t have the Wii (it’s on its way to Nintendo) so it’s not like we’re missing out or anything. I haven’t used the Wii in weeks anyway but of course, the day we discovered it was dead, I had planned to go home and use it. Ha! That’s okay, I ended up running errands most of the night anyway. And last night, we went to the store for a few items (like ice cream, which is vair important) and then came home and I got in bed. Slept through Olbermann and woke up at 9 to make dinner. And I just remembered I left my lunch at home. I was really out of it this morning when I left the house, so it’s not really surprising that I did.

Okay internets, be well.

OH AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RPATTZ. YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOT.

Okay. So I really haven’t done anything I meant to do here with regard to Rwanda. And I won’t, at least consistently, so don’t think about expecting to see it now that I’m making THIS post, which really has very little to do with Rwanda and very much to do with the fact that I can’t sleep.

The past few weeks have been flooded with…stuff. At least on my radar. People being extra mean, extra insensitive. The world being extra fucked up. It seems like everyday I wake up and there’s a new battle to wage, a new thing to defend myself from, a new thing to protect the people I love from. So on and so forth. There are more misunderstandings, more deaths, more nitpicking and irritation.

I mean, Obama won the election. Where is my fluffy kitten that poops rainbows?? Isn’t that what he promised?

Right now, at this moment, I am hungry and in awe of how soft my hair feels. I’m not sure why it feels so soft, but I know I have to stop touching it because it’s just going to get dirty faster. I’d eat something but there’s not really anything interesting to eat in the house.

I have a paper due on Wednesday in my class. I’m pretty sure I’ll get it done in time, so that’s not really what’s bothering me tonight. Last night, I think that’s what was bothering me. I went to bed at 6am Sunday morning and woke up a little before 1pm. Now it’s 1am Monday morning and I have to be up at 6am. That’s amusing.

Okay, so I am actually a little sleepy. I feel like I COULD sleep, if I could convince myself to actually lie down and close my eyes. But something about that feels weird and worrisome. Why should it? There’s not really any reason. I will regret not going to sleep at 11:30 or so, when I initially got into bed. But one thing kept me awake, and then another, and then I realized that I felt kind of scared to go to sleep, or just a little anxious about it, but I don’t really know WHY.

You know what I miss? I miss being able to sit down and write. Write stories. Short snippets. I miss seeing these scenes play out in my head. I miss being able to turn them over and over in my mind and have them appear on the screen exactly as I saw them. I miss that. There’s not much that excites my brain right now. Not much inspires me, which is pretty sad. I know what it is I miss. And it isn’t a what. And I know that if I go there, for real someday, not just in my mind, nothing will have changed. And it will make me so angry at myself. See, I don’t think I can actually do it and not have anything change. Nothing will, because some things have and those things that have changed now make it impossible for any of the other things to change. Back to the start, just like always.

Lately, I’ve found myself wishing I could be like Hannah Montana and have the best of both worlds. Only my worlds wouldn’t be different personae. It’d be different people. The two of them, each to serve his purpose.

But like I said, everything has changed now. One ruined the path we could’ve taken together and the other..well, he didn’t do anything, did he? And I ran away, and I ended up here, which was probably for the better. That was him on the bus that afternoon. This all started then.

April 6, 1994 marked the beginning of the Rwandan genocide. For the next 100 days, I endeavor to make one post about Rwanda a day. This one will be brief (and also on April 7, because I got all distracted by the basketball game GO HEELS!!!!). Fifteen years on, the ghosts linger.

Tomorrow’s entry will be longer, I promise! And actually, it will be today’s entry. So today, the 7th, you get two posts instead of one.

Oy. It’s LATE and I’m TIRED.

I’m not Catholic. Most of you know this about me. So obviously I don’t observe Lent, even though I like the general idea behind it. I observe a 100 day period from April to July. Well, I try to, but I’m kind of bad at it. This year, I’m striving to ACTUALLY DO IT WITHOUT FAIL. So I’ve been mulling over one or two things to abstain from during that 100 days. There are some things that I have decided are strictly off-limits (elevators, given the state of my knees; Dr. Pepper, given that it is my #1 migraine cure; Facebook, given that it is my main method of communication with some people; Livejournal, given that I might as well be dead without it), but there are other things that would be very good for me. The short list is as follows:

+ Purchased coffee (usually only a problem during the week)
+ Chocolate
+ Celebrity gossip (specifically, ONTD)

My list is short right now, I know. BUT IT WILL GROW.

I played this game on my Livejournal and NO ONE GOT IT, so hopefully you people are better at playing. What is significant about a 100-day period between April and July? Historical significance.

AND…GO!

So last week, Beth asked me/everyone a set of questions, which made me happy because it gave me something to post. Y’all, my life is kind of boring right now. Currently, I wake up and go to work, where I keep myself busy until lunch. I spend that 50 minutes (because my bus gets me to work 10 minutes late and I’m too lazy to get up earlier to catch the one that would get me there 15 minutes early) trying to pull together what little sanity I have left while making phone calls about personal things, and if I’m lucky, I get to read a page or two of a non-school book. Then it’s back to the office for the rest of the day. I take a later bus most days because suddenly all the buses are packed. Then I come home and make dinner, work on homework, and kind of numb my way through the evening until bed.

MY BORING LIFE, LET ME SHOW YOU IT.

I am currently waiting for seat assignments for the DMB shows in April and also for the weekend, just like I wait for it EVERY week because I need like 20 of them back to back so badly.

Did you watch the press conference? I did. Well, I watched most of it. My favorite part, aside from the part where he got all impassioned and community-organizery (which got me all riled up and I spend a good several minutes ranting in the RBR chatroom like whoa), was when that guy stood up and said, (paraphrased) “The American people are losing their jobs, Mr. President. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT A-ROD’S STEROID USE?”

Really? I hope you don’t let the doors of the press room hit you in the ass on your way out, buddy.

ONTO THE QUESTIONS.

1. Remember the movie Brewster’s Millions? That happens to you, except on a smaller scale. You receive a million dollars that you must spend in 30 days. However, you cannot have any assets to show for the money at the end of the month (and you can’t buy something and then destroy it), you cannot waste the money, you cannot give it away, and you cannot tell anyone what you are doing. How do you ditch the dough in a month or less?

I had to go look at someone else’s answer to figure out what the hell I could do with that much money and stay within those bounds. I think the first way would be the hp_capslock meet-up we all want to have but can’t afford. We would get all classy in Orlando and bring down the land value at the same time because we’re just that awesome. (Some of that money might have to go to bail.) I would use some of it to pay off the things that are late/in collections. None of those would give me any assets, aside from less of a hit on my credit score. Whatever remained would go to the most amazing vacation in San Francisco ever.

2. You are locked in a toy store overnight, with no way out until it reopens in the morning. What do you play with all night?

The electronic toys. Bring it on. (I would also have the Barbie dolls and BRATS dolls have a skank-off with G.I. Joe as judge.)

3. If you could have a dinner party with any three famous people, living or dead, you would be wasting your supernatural powers on hosting dinner parties. What would you do instead?

I assume I can fly, as well as raising the dead/bringing the living to my home for dinner. I would be flying around San Francisco, taking in the sites (HOMESICK MUCH?). I’d also swing by Sacramento, just for good measure.

4. What’s the best thing since sliced bread? Now, sliced bread ain’t all that impressive, so what’s the best mediocre, hum-drum improvement or advancement that has made modern life just ever so slightly more convenient for humanity, along the lines of saving yourself five seconds every time you want a piece of bread.

Bagel slicer. Clearly. Actually, this is false. I do not own one and I get by just fine. An apple corer/slicer, on the other hand, is a fucking godsend. I love those things. I don’t own one or anything. BUT I LOVE THEM.

5. What’s your best quality? The response to this question must be a simple declarative statement. You may elaborate on that statement, provided that your elaboration does not include the words “but,” “however,” or “although,” or any other hedging, equivocating, back-sliding, gerrymandering (which is not at all appropriate in this context, but I think it should be, don’t you?) or any other type of backing down from the simple declarative statement with which you began your response.

My eyes, because they change color.

If you would like to answer these questions, please link back to Beth (and me!) because it’s nice and all that.

P.S.
Gunshot! And here I thought we had left the ghetto.

Okay. Here’s what you need to know about my life at the moment. I got the flu or something the day before I left to go home for Christmas. Have I mentioned that yet? I managed to make all my flights WITHOUT PUKING. Epic win on my part.

So that happened. And then I was home for 10 glorious days and I got to see only people I loved a lot (okay, I saw a few people I’m only kind of ‘meh’ about and no, I’m not talking about you, AJ). I went stargazing with my brother on Christmas Eve and I got to ride in a limo and I went to Texas Road House for the first time and all of this is on my Facebook, so GO LOOK AT THE PICTURES, IF YOU’D LIKE.

Right now RIGHT NOW I am sick again with a cold. I can’t breathe and my head’s all clogged up and it’s like completely humid here. It rained on Saturday night/early Sunday morning and the ground still looks like it rained an hour ago. THAT’S HOW HUMID IT IS.

All right. For your troubles, here’s Jon Stewart being adorable with his adorable son.

Okay, so I’m leaving the house at 4:45 tomorrow morning for my flight. Today, however, I woke up not feeling so well and then spent the morning puking my guts out. I feel much better now, in comparison, but still don’t feel completely well. Fever is going down and all that though. So good.

I packed awhile ago and am in that I Don’t Care phase. If I forget something, I will buy it there. My parents own a washer and dryer, so I’m fine for clothes. They also use shampoo and lotion, so I’m not bothering with that either.

I’m tired. And my back hurts. And people are mean douchenozzles.

I was talking to my good friend JB today and we got on the topic of blogs and I was all, LOL I SHOULD UPDATE MINE, HUH? And he admitted he still checks in every few days. So now I feel guilty for ignoring my VAST readership.

Truth be told, this has been the year from hell. It has actually been more than a year. Things got really bad and then they got slightly better and I got kind of sucked in Livejournal world because it was the easiest and safest way for me to cope with everything. I mean, I could’ve started doing drugs or drinking heavily or screwing anything with two legs and a pulse. But I didn’t. I got into fandoms instead. SUE ME.

Okay, so I started writing this in the afternoon and then saved it and now I’m here to FINISH IT. I gave blood today, so I’m quite tired. I give double blood cells or whatever it’s called and it takes a lot out of me. I’m just kind of sore and sleepy. Like I’ve been running around all day.

All right, I was talking about fandoms. You don’t really need to know much about that. How about I show you some pictures instead?

This is from today where they stuck my finger during my history. I’ve never had it bruise before. IT HURTS.

Here is my gingerbread Roman, Rahm O’Biden, hanging with a photograph of his namesake (one of them). You’ll notice he is missing part of his arm, just like Rahm is missing part of a finger.

And this here is me as a wee lass, sitting on Santa’s lap. This is the only picture I have of myself on a Santa’s lap. Probably because this Santa is not some random creeper, but is in fact my father, who dressed up to surprise me at the beauty shop one day when I was getting my hair cut.

OH DEAR, FAIR READERS. OH DEAR.

I have nothing to say, as evidenced by the thick dust gathering all over this blog. I’m not really sure where time’s going but one minute it’s here and next minute it’s gone. I’m not trying to be funny, either. I’m serious. Like tonight, I needed to finish my final. I sat down to do that about 30 minutes ago, I swear, and now it’s almost 11:30. WHERE DID THE TIME GO??

Did you eat it?

I love cold weather. I sleep with the window open and the heat off in the winter. That’s how much I like the cold. (Not that it gets that cold here but whatever.) But y’all, my skin is SO dry this year. I don’t know why. It hurts. My scalp, my arms, my back, my legs, my FACE. Ugh my face.

Does anyone have any remedies that don’t cost a lot of money? For reference, a lot = more than $6.