Now get off your duffs and vote for the candidate of your choice! Is it raining where you live? Take an umbrella and a thermos of your favorite warm beverage! Long lines where you live? Take a book or some word puzzles! This election is epic and historic for a lot of reasons. You should only miss it for legit reasons: you’re a felon, under 18, not a citizen, or your county’s Board of Elections didn’t get you your absentee ballot in time.

Here’s a terrorist fist jab for your time.